Highlights from the Previous Intensive in Easton, WA

This Intensive's Focus: Recover the Capacity to Love and Be Loved

Reawaken Your Heart.  

Rebuild your capacity for empathy and attunement.  

Reconnect with God, your wife, and the men in your life.  

In Q4 we are stepping into the place most men in recovery skip, avoid, or fake their way through: real relational intimacy. Not the performance of closeness. Not the management of a marriage. Not the appearance of being a good Christian husband or father. The actual lived experience of being known, being moved, and moving toward the people you love with your whole heart still online.

Most men in addiction and self-medication learned to disconnect from their own emotional interior long before they ever picked up a compulsive behavior. The behavior was downstream. The wound underneath was relational. Somewhere along the way, the heart that was made to feel, love, grieve, fear, fight, and celebrate got shut down, armored over, or outsourced to substitutes. This weekend is about coming back online to the heart and learning, often for the first time, how to actually be present with another human being and with God.

You Are Here: The Arc of the Year

This intensive does not stand alone. It is the culmination of an integrated arc we have been walking together all year, and it is the bridge that takes the deep personal story work of Q2 and Q3 and expands it outward into relationship.

Q2 - Know Your Story. Left brain understanding. Identifying the key components of your story. Naming the family system, the wounds, the roles, the rules, the survival adaptations. Making sense of what happened and how it shaped you. The map of the territory.

Q3 - Experience Your Story. Right brain experiential work. Not just knowing the story but reentering it. Reexperiencing and reprocessing what the little boy went through in those formative moments. Using Internal Family Systems and Polyvagal Theory to bridge the past to the present in a more integrated way. This is where the HeartFlex went internal, learning to be present with your own exiles, parts, and protectors instead of running from them.

Q4 - Live Your Story With Others. This intensive. Taking the integrated work you have done on yourself and expanding it into the shared stories of relationship. Stepping more wholeheartedly into the stories of others, especially your wife, from a more integrated sense of self. Standing on your own two feet, knowing who you are, and not collapsing into your old exiles, shame, and little boy stuff when she is in pain, when conflict rises, when you are misunderstood, or when intimacy gets uncomfortable.

This is where the Heart Flex goes relational. The same capacity you have been building to stay present with your own heart now gets trained in the harder, higher-stakes arena of staying present with hers, with your kids, with the men around you, and with God. This weekend is the multiplier. It takes everything you have built this year and ten Xs it through embodied, relational practice with men who are doing the same work.

The Deeper Work: Relational Intimacy

This intensive walks men through a layered, experiential arc designed to surface and heal the parts of the heart that have been frozen, exiled, or trained into hiding:

Love - What is it really, and where have you actually felt it? We begin with the felt experience of love, not the concept. Gratitude meditation, embodied presence, and learning to receive the love of God before we try to give it to anyone else.

Lonely - What was your training? Looking honestly at the family system you grew up in, the wounds you absorbed, and the relational stance you developed to survive. You cannot heal what you do not identify and feel.

Shame - What is your stance? Identifying the dysfunctional relational patterns that keep love at arm's length. Naming it is the first step to laying it down.

Anger - What is your dance? Mapping the relational dynamics you fall into under pressure. Learning the difference between the drama triangle (where most marriages live) and the redemptive triangle (where freedom is possible).

Grief and Empathy - The pathway home. Empathy in Latin is "in feelings." You cannot be in someone else's feelings if you cannot be in your own. We will practice slowing down, feeling, eye contact, attunement, and the embodied skills that make real empathy possible. Most men have never been taught this. It changes everything.

Fear and Courage - The relational tools. Tension holding, truth telling, receive then respond, the awareness wheel, the four-part differentiation mantra, hugging until relaxed, time-out and table-it recipes. Tools you can take home and actually use Monday morning.

Joy and Celebration - The point of all of it. We were not built only to grieve and grind. Reawakening the capacity to play, to celebrate, to feel joy with God and with each other.

Rewire the Relational System

We are not just trying to learn better communication techniques. We are going after the relational nervous system underneath. Most men can intellectually agree their wife needs empathy. The problem is not information. The problem is wiring. When her tension rises, when she expresses pain, when she needs you to stay present, the deeper system takes over and pulls you into the old moves: defending, fixing, withdrawing, raging, collapsing, performing.

This weekend we will practice the redeemed versions in real time. Not as ideas but as experiences. Attunement instead of avoidance. Presence instead of performance. Empathy instead of explaining. Steadiness instead of reactivity. Pursuit instead of hiding.

What to Expect: Practice Being With Yourself and Others

This is not a deep trauma intensive. It is not a teaching marathon. It is a practice ground.

Most of the weekend will be experiential. We will spend the majority of our time stepping into our own feelings and then stepping into the feelings of the men around us. Loneliness, shame, fear, anger, grief, courage, joy, celebration. Sitting with them in ourselves. Sitting with them in each other. Learning what it actually feels like to be present with another man in the full range of human emotion, not just the comfortable ones.

And we will not only practice connection through the heavy. We will practice it through play, food, fire, music, shared activity, recreation, and laughter. We need both. So this weekend will hold both. The depth of being with each other in real feeling, and the joy of doing life shoulder to shoulder with other men who get it.

Yes, there will be some teaching and mapping, but Chris and Andrew are intentionally stepping back this round. The men in the room will be invited to co-lead and co-facilitate parts of the weekend. The goal is for you to leave not just having learned more concepts but having actually practiced the reps of relational intimacy enough times, with enough men, in enough emotional registers, that something starts to shift in your wiring.

Why? Because many men already understand the concepts. They have read the books. They have done some therapy. They can quote the right Bible verses about love and marriage. But when it matters most, the heart still goes offline. So this weekend we will practice the actual reps: feeling, expressing, receiving, holding, attuning, repairing, playing, celebrating. We are training the brain through right brain learning, presence, embodiment, and relational engagement, so that new pathways can start to form where the old armor used to dominate.

The aim is to help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that have been shut down, the wounded boy and the beautiful boy, in a way that is grounded and mature. The heart that was made for love is still in there. For many men it has been buried under decades of self-protection, performance, and pain. Reawakening it sounds easy. It is hard. It will be uncomfortable, exposing, and at times deeply moving. And it will also be freeing, life giving, and genuinely fun. This is how we redeem relational intimacy with God, with our spouses, and with the men around us. Not by trying harder, but by practicing a new way of being with other men who are doing the same work.


Intensive Facilitators

Chris Chandler MA, LPCC, LMHC, CSAT-S, AF-EMDR Intensive Host & Certified Sexual Addiction Counselor

Chris is a Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor in 19 states, and Certified Sexual Addiction Counselor Supervisor (CSAT-S) with 20 years of experience helping men and recover from addictive, compulsive, and self-medicating behaviors.


Andrew Engstrom MS, LMFT Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Andrew is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist that has the intention to support you and provide insight for overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of forming lasting, fulfilling relationships with others and God.


Lodging Pictures



*Pictures Courtesy of  The Big House Lodge

Registration


  • (semi-private room with one roommate, two queen beds, private bathroom, all group sessions, eight meals prepared by a private chef)

  • (six twin bunk beds per room, all group sessions, eight meals prepared by a private chef)


Non-tax deductible donations are accepted to help men attend this intensive. 



This agreement (“Agreement”) is made and entered into on (“Effective Date”) (Effective Date Listed Above) between and among Christian Recovery Groups LLC DBA Breath to Bones, “the Company,” as represented by Christopher Chandler, hereafter referred to as the “Coach,” and the “Client" (Client Name Listed Above). THEREFORE, the Coach and the Client agree as follows: 1 TERMS. The purpose of this Agreement is to set forth the details of the Men’s Intensive (“the Intensive”) taking place from October 15th, 2026 to October 18th, 2026, as well as the Parties relationship to ensure each are clear as to respective roles so that the experience will be positive, productive, and comfortable. The Intensive will include the following: Three (3) Nights Lodging Accommodations, Three (3) Dinners, Two (2) Lunches, and Three (3) Breakfasts, Daily Prayer & Worship Time, Coaching on Work/Rest Patterns, Other Activities as Determined by the Coach, Additional Food, Items, Transportation, and Resources May Be Included at Coach's Discretion, Any and all costs for lodging/transportation/food and other not listed above are the responsibility of the Client. Client acknowledges that no other costs beyond those described herein will be included in the cost of the Intensive. Client will inform the Coach of any dietary restrictions at least thirty days (30) prior to the start of the Intensive. 2. PAYMENT TERMS. The Client will make payment via Simple Practice (Square or Stripe Processor) or other agreed upon method. Payments are non-refundable starting September 15th, 2026. Should Client have to cancel or become unable to attend the Intensive, the Client may be invited to a future event at a reduced cost at the Coach's discretion. Payment amount and payment plan (if applicable) will be determined through email depending on type of reservation and financial hardship (if applicable). 3. DISCLAIMERS. By participating in the Intensive, Client acknowledges that the Coach or guest speakers/facilitators are not providing any individual or group psychotherapy services. Coach will be teaching content to a group about work/rest patterns. The Coach may provide the Client with information and/or products that the Coach believes might benefit the Client, but such information is not to be taken as an endorsement. The Coach is not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences that may result, either directly or indirectly, from any information or teaching provided. The Coach may provide Client with third-party recommendations for such services as photography, business, legal, financial, health, or other related services to utilize either during or after the Intensive. Client agrees that these are only suggestions and the Coach will not be held liable for the services provided by any third-party to the Client. The Coach is not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences that may result, either directly or indirectly, from any information or services provided by a third-party. Any testimonials or examples shown are only examples of what may be possible for Client. There can be no assurance as to any particular outcome based on the participation in the Intensive. 4. CLIENT RESPONSIBILITY; NO GUARANTEES. Client acknowledges that the Coach has not and does not make any representations as to a future outcome of any kind that may be derived as a result of the Intensive. Client accepts and agrees that Client is 100% responsible for results from the Intensive. The Coach makes no representations, warranties or guarantees verbally or in writing regarding Client’s performance. 5. CODE OF CONDUCT. If Coach determines, in his sole discretion, and at any time, that Client is not suited for participation in the Intensive, Coach will so inform Client in writing. The Client will not be reimbursed for any and all fees paid to date for the Intensive; including the deposit. Upon receipt of the Coach's written notice, the Client shall cease all participation in the Intensive. Coach may also exclude Client in whole or in part from another Intensive participant. Circumstances in which Client may be asked to leave the Intensive include but are not limited to: Disruptive behavior that interferes with others’ participation in the program; Verbal or physical abuse, harassment, or threats against program facilitators or participants; Sexual harassment, stalking, harassing photography or recording, inappropriate or unwelcome physical contact; Failure to comply with other health & safety policies; Violation of the confidentiality; taking video or audio recordings of the Intensive or other participants without written permission Concerns about Client’s physical or mental well-being and safety, Client’s consumption of alcohol, marijuana, plant medicines, or other drugs or intoxicants during the Intensive (prescribed medications excluded). 6. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS. In respect of the documents specifically created for the Client as part of this Agreement, the Coach maintains all of the copyright, other intellectual property rights, of their Materials. Nothing in this Agreement shall transfer ownership of or rights to any intellectual property of the Coach to the Client, nor grant any right or license other than those stated in this Agreement. For the purposes of this Clause, “Material” shall mean the materials, in whatever form, used by the Coach to provide the services and the products, systems, programs or processes, produced by the Coach pursuant to this Agreement. 7. LIABILITY WAIVER & ASSUMPTION OF RISK. While the Counselor will take every possible measure to ensure safety of the Client during the Intensive, the Coach cannot control every circumstance. The Client is legally responsible for their safety and any belongings and agrees to, and will be held legally liable for the following statements: I, the Client hereby accept all risk to my health and of my injury or death that may result from participating in the Intensive and I hereby release the Coach, and the Coach's respective companies, officers, employees, independent contractors, interns, sponsors and representatives from any and all liability to me, my personal representatives, estate, heirs, next of kin, and assigns for any and all claims and causes of action for loss of or damage to my property and for any and all illness or injury to my person, including my death, that may result from or occur during my participation in the Intensive, whether caused by negligence of the Coach, employees, independent contractors, representatives, or otherwise. I further agree to indemnify and hold harmless the Coach and any third-party from liability for the injury or death of any person(s) and damage to property that may result from my negligent or intentional act or omission while attending and participating in the Intensive. Under no circumstances will the Coach or their assigns be held liable for my injury or death or any loss or damage of my personal belongings, any hotel or travel incidentals, including any damages, resulting from my participation in Intensive. Should I require emergency medical treatment as a result of an accident or illness arising during my attendance and participation in the Intensive, I consent to such treatment. I acknowledge and I agree to be financially responsible for any medical or legal bills that may be incurred as a result of emergency medical treatment. I will notify the Coach verbally and in writing if I am at any time injured prior to, during, or after the Intensive in my travels or attendance, or if I have medical conditions about which emergency medical personnel should be informed; however, I understand that the Coach is not legally obligated to act on that information in any way or to providing any medical service whatsoever to me. COVID-19/Communicable Diseases Assumption of Risk. I understand that while The Coach/Company has undertaken reasonable steps to lessen the risk of transmission of COVID-19/Communicable Diseases (which includes related variants as well) in connection with the Intensive, The Company is not responsible in any manner for any risks related to COVID-19/Communicable Diseases in connection with the Intensive. I further understand that COVID-19 is a highly contagious and dangerous disease, and that contact with the virus that causes COVID-19 may result in significant personal injury or death. I also understand that some Communicable Diseases are highly contagious and dangerous diseases, and that contact with the virus/bacterial/fungus that causes Communicable Diseases may result in significant personal injury or death. I am fully aware that participation in the Intensive (including any related travel) carries with it certain inherent risks related to COVID-19/Communicable Diseases transmission (“Inherent Risks”) that cannot be eliminated regardless of the care taken to avoid such risks. Inherent Risks may include, but are not limited to, (1) the risk of coming into close contact with individuals or objects that may be carrying COVID-19/Communicable Diseases; (2) the risk of transmitting or contracting COVID-19/Communicable Diseases, directly or indirectly, to or from other individuals; and (3) injuries and complications ranging in severity from minor to catastrophic, including death, resulting directly or indirectly from COVID-19/Communicable Diseases or the treatment thereof. Further, I understand that the risks of COVID-19/Communicable Diseases are not fully understood, and that contact with, or transmission of, COVID-19/Communicable Diseases may result in risks including but not limited to loss, personal injury, sickness, death, damage, and expense, the exact nature of which are not currently ascertainable, and all of which are to be considered Inherent Risks. I hereby voluntarily accept and assume all risk of loss, personal injury, sickness, death, damage, and expense arising from such Inherent Risks. Furthermore, I represent and warrant that I do not suffer from any medical condition or disease that might in any way hinder or prevent me from attending the Intensive, including, to my knowledge, COVID-19/Communicable Diseases. This COVID-19/Communicable Diseases Assumption of Risk, Release, and Waiver of Liability shall be binding on my heirs, executors, administrators, successors, and assigns. I expressly agree that this Agreement is intended to be as broad and inclusive as is permitted by applicable laws, and that if any portion of this Agreement is found to be void or unenforceable, the remaining portions shall remain in full force and effect. 8. MEDICAL & HEALTH CONDITIONS. Client must make the Coach aware at the time of booking any pre-existing medical conditions, food allergies, or if Client is taking any specific medication. If Client does not make the Coach aware of these at the time of booking, the Company will not be held responsible for any health issues that arise from possible contraindications. 9. INTERNET ACCESS & SECURITY. Wireless Internet access, where available, is not guaranteed and is provided subject to third party terms and conditions, which are available when accessing the system. The Coach reserves the right to disclose Client’s details to the internet service provider if it is discovered that Client illegally downloaded content from the internet or otherwise engaged in unlawful activity while at the Intensive. 10. TRAVEL DOCUMENTATION & INSURANCE. It is the Client’s responsibility to ensure that they have all the relevant travel documentation, insurance and arrive at the airport on time. Not having the correct documents is solely the responsibility of the Client. 11. TRANSPORT. The Company can accept no responsibility for delay or cancellation of any flights, train, buses or other forms of transport. 12. HEALTH & SAFETY REGULATIONS. The Client must comply fully with all and any health and safety regulations. The Client must ensure that they are medically and physically fit and able to use the facilities and participate in activities. If Client has injuries or illnesses, they are advised to seek doctor’s advice if planning to do physical activities. The Coach is not liable for any injuries to the Client in their use of facilities or participation in activities. 13. LOSS OR DAMAGE. Company cannot accept any responsibility for loss or damage of personal possessions or valuables of the Client. 14. LIABILITIES. The Counselor shall not be liable for any failures beyond its control. This covers natural disasters, war, other ‘acts of nature’, closure of airports, civil strife, accidents or failure to perform by third parties, including suppliers and subcontractors. The Coach accepts no liability for loss, damage, injury or illnesses which may be received during the Client’s stay or travel. 15. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. The Intensive and activities involved provided by the Coach under this Agreement are provided on an “as-is” basis, without any warranties or representations express, implied or statutory; including, without limitation, warranties of quality, performance, non-infringement, merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. 16. FORCE MAJEURE. In the event that any cause beyond the reasonable control of either Party, including without limitation acts of nature, war, curtailment or interruption of transportation facilities, threats or acts of terrorism, country travel advisories, a pandemic as defined by the World Health Organization, labor strike or civil disturbance, make it inadvisable, illegal, or impossible, either because of unreasonable increased costs or risk of injury, for either Party to perform its obligations under this Agreement, all payments, including deposits, made by the Client will be refunded within 90 days after the date of cancellation Coach may also have to make changes to details, including dates and/or location, both before and after the Intensive has been confirmed and/or cancel the confirmed Intensive for other reasons not expressed within FORCE MAJEURE. The Coach will endeavor to avoid changes and cancellations but reserves the right to do so. If the Coach must cancel, Client will be informed as soon as possible via a written notice, and will be refunded all payments, including deposits, made by the Client within 90 days after the date of cancellation. Coach will not be responsible for travel fees, lodging, food/beverage or any other travel expenses outside of the Intensive. 17. NON-DISPARAGEMENT. The Parties agree and accept that the only venue for resolving a dispute shall be in the venue set forth herein below. The Parties agree that they neither will engage in any conduct or communications with a third party, public or private, designed to disparage the other. Neither Client nor any of Client’s associates, employees or affiliates will directly or indirectly, in any capacity or manner, make, express, transmit speak, write, verbalize or otherwise communicate in any way (or cause, further, assist, solicit, encourage, support or participate in any of the foregoing), any remark, comment, message, information, declaration, communication or other statement of any kind, whether verbal, in writing, electronically transferred or otherwise, that might reasonably be construed to be derogatory or critical of, or negative toward, the Coach or any of its programs, affiliates, subsidiaries, employees, independent contractors, agents or representatives. 18. DISPUTE RESOLUTION. If a dispute is not resolved first by good-faith negotiation between the parties to this Agreement, any controversy or dispute to this Agreement will be submitted to the American Arbitration Association. The arbitration shall occur within ninety (90) days from the date of the initial arbitration demand and shall take place in San Diego, CA or via telephone. The Parties shall cooperate in exchanging and expediting discovery as part of the arbitration process and shall cooperate with each other to ensure that the arbitration process is completed within the ninety (90) day period. The written decision of the arbitrators (which will provide for the payment of costs, including attorneys’ fees) will be absolutely binding and conclusive and not subject to judicial review, and may be entered and enforced in any court of proper jurisdiction, either as a judgment of law or decree in equity, as circumstances may indicate. 19. GOVERNING LAW. This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California within the United States, regardless of the conflict of laws principles thereof. If any term, provision, covenant, or condition of this Agreement is held by an arbitrator or court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, void, or unenforceable, the rest of the Agreement shall remain in full force and affect and shall in no way be affected, impaired, or invalidated. 20. GOOD FAITH. Each party represents and warrants to the other that such party has acted in good faith, and agrees to continue to so act, in the negotiation, execution, delivery, performance and any termination of this Agreement. 21. ENTIRE AGREEMENT. This Agreement contains the entire agreement between the parties and supersedes all prior agreements between the parties, whether written or oral. No representations, inducements, promises, or agreements which are not embodied herein shall be of any force or effect. This Agreement may not be modified, amended, varied, waived, explained, added to, extended, changed in any way, except by a written instrument executed by a person authorized to execute such an instrument on behalf of both the Client and the Coach.


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